top of page

Termination for medical reasons - a heartbreaking decision

“Please take a seat”

Those 4 dreaded words was when I knew something was wrong.

We found out we were pregnant in January 2022. We were ecstatic and when we went for our initial scan and found out it was Twins, we couldn’t believe it! We couldn’t wait to tell our family and friends soon after our 12 week scan, and I started to picture our life with our twin babies.

We went in for a routine 16 week scan and the midwife was scanning for what felt like an hour. I asked what we were having and she said twin boys! Soon after she wanted us to see the consultant for a second opinion. As the consultant scanned us for another 15 minutes he said the dreaded words “please take a seat”. I knew it wasn’t good news.

He said the short and long bones weren’t growing quick enough for the twins, which meant that their chests and throats weren’t developing. We were advised they were unlikely to make it through child birth. Making the decision to terminate the twin pregnancy due to medical reasons was heartbreaking for us and our dream world had just shattered to pieces.

I kept questioning if I was making the right decision and the “what ifs”.

My husband and I broke down. Then the next day we spoke to someone from Great Ormond Street Hospital who looked at the scans. They explained the twins would die before I gave birth or they really wouldn’t survive very long after childbirth. The twins had skeletal dysplasia. They said it was up to us when we wanted to start the termination. From then on I didn’t want to be pregnant anymore, I felt so scared, alone and just in pieces.

A few days later, we went for the full termination. I wish I had had a bit more information before I went in because I think we went in quite blind to it. It all happened so fast.

I asked one of the midwives if I was going to have to push but I was told it was like period pains and I wouldn’t have to. This wasn’t the case.

The next morning at around 6am I gave birth to the twins. It was a really traumatic experience. My husband was there with me the whole time. He was really emotional but I had zero emotion. I was in pure shock the whole time and felt like I was in a little safe  protected bubble in the hospital away from reality.

After the twins were born we spent some time with them and they gave us a memory box which had birth certificates and footprints of our little ones.

When we came out of hospital I completely broke down as I found it so hard coming back into reality and having to tell all my friends and family that we were no longer pregnant with twins. The thought of going into work and having to pretend I was okay was unbearable for me.

We had our little boys tested to see why this had happened and we got the results stating that it was just bad luck. That’s what it was, bad luck.

I felt so alone and struggled for months, trying to go back to work and be “happy” and normal and seeing other people around me being pregnant, or getting pregnant.

Through our whole journey I found that talking about pregnancy loss is hard and a lot of people do not do it! which makes a lot of us feel very alone in the process.

This is why I find charities such as Footprints with Sharon and Suzie a safe space to really talk about how you feel and speak to others who have experienced the same things I had.

Experiencing a TFMR has been one of the hardest things we have ever been through and I hope this blogs helps others to feel that you are not alone.

29 views0 comments


bottom of page