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Remembering Cassia

Bella, my surviving twin, is only 5 and still doesn’t understand the concept of having a twin. I have spoken to her since she was little about her twin sister Cassia, explaining that they were both in my tummy at the same time.


Sadly we lost Cassia in an accident at home, 3 days before their 1st birthday, because of this we have lots of pictures of Cassia as a baby around the house, which Bella looks at and we talk about what happened. When Bella got upset once because babies shouldn’t die and asked me what happened I tried to explain as simply as I could about her accident, without scaring or upsetting her.


When she started school I ensured the teacher knew everything and Bella attended a small bereavement group at school with a few others. She isn’t currently upset about what happened but will ask random questions about death or where Cassia is, that other 5 year olds wouldn’t - and I wanted to make sure that school were ready for this. 


Talking about Cassia is normal at home and as a family we regularly go to her headstone/special place to remember her.


Bella has also grown up seeing me do several fundraising events in her name to remember her and help others. We have an album where we keep pictures of all of our “Cassia Events” that we have done which will be for Bella to look back on when she is older because she won’t remember them.




We have a book that is called “Always My Twin” that we used to read when she was younger. 





Their birthday is obviously always tricky and as Bella gets bigger she wants to celebrate it more. As the anniversary of Cass’s death is only 3 days before their birthday, we tend to remember Cass more on that day and make the birthday more for Bella, but we always go to her headstone both days and we also take her birthday cake.



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